Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
