Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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