i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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