WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
