I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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