I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
