the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
