He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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