I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
