I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Randomize
