You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
