Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I still have a little drunk in my system
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
