i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
