is your mom at the bar?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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