I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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