yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
