sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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