It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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