some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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