Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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