A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
