I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
