We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
