He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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