After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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