She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
