he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
