Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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