nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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