Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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