I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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