Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
