1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
