May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
