Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
