Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
