ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
