we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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