I must be too annoying 4 u.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
