Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'm always down for nudity.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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