all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
