If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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