Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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