people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
