I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
