I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
and you fell through a lawn chair
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
