My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
