I need help removing her.
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
