new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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