? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
