He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
