I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
